Being There Reaching Out

3 years ago on Sunday, doesn't seem real. While time has changed, my heart remains the same. There is a big chunk missing, everyone seems to know but there seems to be a big part they can not understand. His best friend from Kansas came to visit this last weekend. Breaks my heart to watch others that loved him hurt so much. I miss his smile, his gentil ways, his laugh, his big hugs. He was AMAZING - simple but AMAZING, he changed my life from the day I found out he was going to be. I think that is what I miss the most is seeing what he was going to accomplish next. They say when you loose a child you loose your future and that is what make us sad. It is just so hard to believe how fast time goes by and how it seems like it happend just yesterday. I awake every morning and have to remember that it is true - for that split second when there seems to be a glimmer of possiblity that it really didn't happen then reality sets in, I gather my courage, pull it back together and face the day. I look for him and see him in every beautiful thing - that is his gift to me. Yesterday as I took his best bud for a ride in his beloved "Walter" his 1966 fully restored Chevy Pickup truck - A huge rainbow arced over head. At Steven's ( Ryan's brother) graduation party, I looked down to a dragon fly that was on the leg of the chair next to me - the dragon fly climbed on my finger and just sat there - it's funny I could swear his hand touched mine. These are gifts from above from Ryan and the Lord who holds him in his arms.

I am thankful for him, for the wonderful time the Lord allowed me to be part of his life, I am blessed by Ryan, my wonderful daughter Jessica, and my amazing son Steven who walk this journey with me. We would not make it without each other because it is so hard for others outside this group to understand.

May God continue to hold you in the palm of his hands
Tracy Jopek
Mother of the Best Son a mom could ask for
SGT Ryan David Jopek
Born June 1st, 1986
KIA August 1st WI Time August 2nd Tikrit Time 2006

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